i'm taking a big step in terms of being less materialistic, though it's kind of an empty gesture all the same. i'm giving away my second computer. truth be told, and really why should anything else be, i have a gadget addiction. it all started when i thought building my own computer would be a good project to mention during interviews for jobs when i was graduating. for someone who had not previously cared about cache latencies and over-clocking (in spite of being a computer engineer), suddenly i got all into gigaHertz and dual-boot configurations. i turned into a geek. i'd check out web-sites like anandtech.com and tomshardwareguide.com [i have deliberately not linked these sites lest i should help create another geek] just to get the latest news on chipsets and video cards. i really got into it.

so much so that once i finished building that first computer, it wasn't long before the urge to build a second began. why would i need a second? so that i could still have two windows machines (one windows 2000, one windows XP), and set up a linux box as well. luckily, all i bought were two 80 Gb drives and 512 Mb worth of PC2100 memory. i was trying to decide which processor and motherboard i should get when people i knew started getting laid off, and i thought i would better serve myself by building a little nest-egg. the nest-egg didn't last long when i got laid off, but at least i did not have to try making car payments using a linux box.

the point is: why did i get myself tangled up in this mess? i've mentioned before my old habit of wanting, and sometimes getting, the latest and greatest. but why? i don't really play games on my computer, and i'm not doing much in the way of creating multimedia or engineering of any sort. why do i need this kind of power for surfing the web, email and blogging? the fact is that i don't, but i can't get rid of my computers.

i've given away most of my books, and almost all my CDs (whatever people would take .. not sure what to do with the rest) and i feel happier for it. i have not bought a CD in forever, or a playstation game (though i did succumb to buying a used DVD of 'about a boy'). i'm definitely less materialistic in that my clothing of choice is a white t-shirt and jeans, and you won't catch me buying anything with a brand name.

i'm sorry. this has really turned into rambling. my point is i don't need two computers. i hardly need one. so why does this feel like such a big step for me? it's not, is it? it's not like i'm giving away the machine i built. [that's my little frankenstein, each component thoughtfully selected and attached by yours truly.] the fact is with each possession i bid goodbye to, there's fewer distractions in my life, and i'm not sure i want to face life head on.

isn't that why we buy things? it's not always about necessity. it's about treating ourselves; making ourselves feel good the way our jobs and relationships sometimes fail to. it is about insulation. it's a scary world around us, getting scarier by the second, and we think if we create these little cages and fill them with all sorts of fluff and comfort, we'll feel safe and happy. the truth is that a gilded cage is still a cage, and we're still not prepared for what's waiting for us outside.

 
read some humorous quotes today, and just had to share.

"I was not about to stand by and wait and trust in the sanity and restraint of Saddam Hussein," George W. Bush said during a visit to New Hampshire. if there are three things George W. is not an authority on [although i suspect the number is somewhat greater than three], they are
1) trust,
2) sanity and
3) restraint.

i mean, really! how many people hear 'George W. Bush' and immediately think "oh, that would be the paragon of restraint who happens to be commander-in-chief, wouldn't it?"

"Who could possibly think that the world would be better off with Saddam Hussein still in power?" Bush continued. well, let's see. at first, it was just the Baathists and the Fedayeen; then the French and Germans, but lately, it seems to be an increasing number of Iraqi civilians as well. luckily, we don't need their goodwill or cooperation.

more gems. "I acted because I was not about to leave the security of the American people in the hands of a madman," he continued. but, i thought John Ashcroft still was Attorney General.

"We're making great progress (in Iraq). I don't care what you read about," Bush said in Lexington, KY. yeah, he never seemed big on reading, but rightly so -- there's all those 'subliminable' messages mixed in.

 
i think it's a corollary of murphy's law – things never go according to plan. not my plan anyway.

we were told the phone would be set up at the new place on the 24th. no such luck. even though we moved approximately seven miles, we had to get a new phone number, and wait another 5 days to get it activated. i don't think we even have long-distance service yet. the worst of it all is that I registered our old phone number for the FTC/FCC’s no-call list. so telemarketers, in the words of the meathead-in-chief – “bring ‘em on!”

speaking of which, I heard the most bizarre thing about that list on the news yesterday. the FTC created the list, but the telemarketing industry challenged the FTC’s authority to enforce the list. the courts agreed saying that the FTC could regulate how the telemarketers called, but not who(m) they called – only the FCC could do that. so congress decided that the FCC will do that. only, here’s the bizarre part – the FTC won’t give the FCC the list for some reason. so the FCC has to enforce a list it doesn’t have a copy of. so what do they decide to do? the FCC figures that the telemarketers have been given a copy of the list by the FTC, so they have asked the telemarketers to provide them a copy of the list. it’s like a cop loaning his gun to a bank-robber on condition that should that gun be used in a theft, the robber is to immediately hand over the gun to the cop so that he can prevent the getaway. isn’t it great when lawmakers can take something really simple and then obfuscate it beyond recognition? ah, it’s a thing of beauty.

and while we’re on the subject of lawmakers, why not discuss the front-runner of the California recall election? Captain speech-impediment himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger. there were reports today that six women have accused him of groping them and otherwise making unwelcome advances. I don’t get it. do they mean to say that it is wrong for a guy to grab whatever he wants/likes just because it is part of another person’s body? well, if that sort of behavior is wrong, I don’t want to live in the Paleolithic era anymore. what? it’s 2003? so I can’t just walk up behind a woman, bash her on the head with my club and drag her back to my cave to have my way with her?

well, in that case, how about we suggest that a black football player isn’t really talented, but that we pretend he is because the liberal media desperately wants an African-American quarterback to succeed? oh, you say a big, fat pill-popping idiot hopped up on OxyContin (why on earth OxyContin when he suffers from constipated brain and diarrheal mouth I don’t know) beat us to it? damn, what luck. I’ll really have to rack my brains to come up with some really bigoted or chauvinistic form of self-expression. actually, if I try hard enough, it could be bigoted AND chauvinistic. way to set that target high!

it has been suggested that Rush Limbaugh is a big, fat idiot [note: see Al Franken’s book ‘Rush Limbaugh is a big, fat idiot and other observations’], but Rush really doesn’t make it seem implausible. as I understand it, there were reports today that his house-keeper was sent on errands to buy prescription drugs without a prescription, and that she bought 4000 pills over a 47-day period. what does Rush say? that he “has not been contacted, directly or indirectly, by" law enforcement. implication being that there is sufficient reason for them to get in touch with him, but that there has been some hold-up. perhaps they are waiting on a warrant to search his cheeks. even squirrels hoard nuts in their mouth. maybe there’s a pill or four hundred in his jowls.

finally, I would like to suggest my entry for super genius of the millennium … no, not you Rush! I nominate the first person to take a high-five and add the windmill-motion of the arm so that there is a subsequent low-five on the downswing. now, that’s a thing of beauty!

 
i meant to post last night, to keep up this run i'm on but it was not meant to be. what was (meant to be), however, was one of the best nights of my life ... i got to see my without-a-doubt favorite band, R.E.M., perform live. and thanks to my fanclub membership, my wife and i were only 9 rows and dead-center from the stage.

somehow, maybe because i'm greedy, this still was not close enough. i saw them for the first time 4 years ago in minneapolis. general admission tickets on a baseball field, so my roommate and i followed behind my tall friend JD as far up front as people would let us. i think we were probably about the same distance from the stage then as we were last night. but it meant more 4 years ago because seating wasn't assigned. that night was magical because wilco opened, and i had never before seen my heroes live and every moment was precious. i was taking in all of michael stipe's poses and freaky-cool dance moves and just enjoying the simple pleasure of it all. of course, for anyone who was there, the night was cut short by a thunderstorm that endangered the safety of all gathered. whatever! i would dare a lightning strike to hear all of R.E.M.'s set.

no such trouble last night. perfect weather. for whatever reason, i drank a lot of water at home before leaving for the concert so that by the time opening act ed harcourt was done (fantastic job by the way ... really cool set that did a wonderful job of warming up the crowd), i was wondering whether to hold it in for god knows how long or to brave a visit to the restrooms. i hate public restrooms in case that needs to be spelled out. this is where having a brainy wife comes in ... she was like 'are you kidding me? guys get done in restrooms so fast ... you'll be out of there in no time.' and, she was mostly right. i plucked up the courage and searched for the restrooms, and there was a line, but boy did it move quickly. of course, one i got to a stall, i realized i had put on my button-fly pants. great! nothing like having a long line of drunks behind you watching your ass struggle to un-do and re-do a button-fly. but i was a new man after that visit. my enjoyment of that evening went up 300%.

there's something about the feeling of really liking a band, and listening to their music for so many years and memorizing lyrics and singing along on road-trips or whatever else, and then suddenly one day, there they are a few yards away. and since they weren't promoting a new album, they had asked fans to email them with requests for the show. i didn't want to be selfish, so i emailed the one song my wife and i just HAD to hear... nightswimming. a night later, i wish i had been greedier. i should have also asked for talk about the passion ... who knows, they may have played it. but what an amazing set ... 'world leader pretend' and 'drive' and other songs i had never expected to hear live but some intelligent souls had thankfully requested. and 'electrolite,' i am determined to learn how to play that on the piano. i don't even play the piano, but this is how great that song is. and they had a couple new ones, 'bad day' and 'animal' ... i hadn't heard either before (i know, some fan i am) but i especially loved 'animal.' for whatever reason, i immediately thought of the muppet. [typing that now reminds me of the long john silver's shrimp muppet, pepe. happy thoughts.] i saw them on aug. 21, 1999 and then on september 17, 2003 ... i wonder if i'll have to wait another 4 years. i sure hope not.

anyway, to any friends that still check this blog out, i miss you 'migo and kellybean and i'll try and email/call soon. we're moving to a new apartment this weekend, and we're not supposed to get phone service transferred till the middle of next week, so this may be it for blog-posts for a short while. i hope to get into it regularly after that. also, not that they read this as far as i know, but i hope jd is doing well in spite of being in the path of hurricane isabel, and i hope d.e.p is doing well ... he had a sad anniversary this week ... i wanted to call, but wasn't sure if he'd rather be left alone.

 
i think i'm just loving msnbc.com or something. before i dish out the link, i used to get all my news from CNN on my iPaq. at least twice a day, sometimes thrice (i believe that is a word, so there!), i would sync it and then sit and read. of course, for whatever reason, CNN and CNN/Money decided to leave Avantgo (that's the syncing service on my iPaq). the cool part was that i had been thinking about getting rid off those channels myself because of the new rules passed by the FCC and my hatred/distrust for AOL Time Warner. i realize that msn and nbc aren't much better, or better at all, but i need my news from somewhere.

and about 'thrice', has anyone seen that one commercial for some chrysler car where hurricane celine dion sings the background song? i swear the lyrics go something like this: 'don't you think it's ironical? that love is all we need.' the first time i heard it, i thought, i must be crazy, because i realize i do not like the hurricane and i thought i must be giving myself reasons to continue my dislike for her. i thought "no sensible person would use the word 'ironical.'" but then i saw the commercial a second and third (not thriced) time, and between bouts of teeth grinding, i realized i was right. 'ironical'? why not just 'ironic'? even atlantis morrisette had it right ... 'isn't it ironic?' of course, she had it half-right because the ironic thing was that all the things she mentioned were just unfortunate, not ironic.

why is the concept of irony so hard for the human race? let me see if i can help. a commercial is meant to get someone to buy something. but because of the word 'ironical' in the chrysler ad, i will NOT buy their product. i may have otherwise, but now i definitely will not. so is it ironic that their commercial turned me off buying the product? no! that's just bad advertising.

i remember when i saw this episode of friends (back when i could stand the show) and chandler was whining about this girl that said 'supposably' instead of 'supposedly.' i could identify with him. god, i abhor celine. this is a milestone for me ... i don't believe i've ever abhored another person before. [note: 'abhor' comes from the Latin abhorrere = to shrink back in horror ... sounds like i hit the nail on the head there]

finally, the msnbc.com link i promised ... how you sleep may reveal your personality. i have not slept the same way throughout life ... as a young child, i slept on my back with my hands above my head. according to the article, this is the starfish position -- for unassuming, good listeners. in high school, i slept on my back with hands folded over my chest. this isn't mentioned in the article, so i assume it was too freakish. my favorite position though is flat on my stomach, or as the article calls it, the freefall position. apparently, it's the most unusual position with only 6.5% of the populace picking it -- it's only for the 'brash and gregarious.'

 
an old joke which i like goes like this ... how can you tell if a _____ is lying? his/her lips are moving. today, i fill the blank with the word 'republican.' and, i have two in particular in mind: dick cheney and ahnold schwarzenbugger.

cheney for his part was spouting more bullshit this weekend. really wonderful reading if you have the time, or even if you don't but you do give a rat's ass about what people are being sacrificed for like lambs. an excerpt:
"Should we get out entirely and turn the whole thing over to the U.N. (and maybe NATO)? Jeffrey Sachs sure thinks so, and I am beginning to agree. Sachs writes: “This year Bush asked for only $200 million for the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, TB, and Malaria, a sum equal to 1.5 days of spending on the US occupying forces in Iraq. The US annual contributions to fight malaria are less than the costs of one day’s occupation, and as a result, 3 million Africans will die needlessly from that preventable and treatable disease. But who is talking about $87 billion for the 30 million Africans dying from the effects of HIV/AIDS, or the children dying of malaria, or the 15 million AIDS orphans, or the dispossessed of Liberia and Sierra Leone, or the impoverished children of America without medical insurance?" cue crickets chirping in the stillness.

then, i caught a bit of ahnold on oprah today. [what can i say? lots of free time on my hands. i used to dislike oprah. then when dr. phil appeared on tuesdays, i liked both oprah and dr. phil. i ended up hating dr. phil because he's a little too smug -- yeah, we get it ... you're successful, you have EVERYTHING figured out, and we're all idiots.] i don't think i could hate oprah more.

now, before you say 'i told you that bitch crazy', she had her lips superglued to the posteriors of maria and captain speech-impediment for the whole hour. i realize 'oprah' is not tim russert's 'meet the press.' but, she can at least pretend to be objective. no, she pooh-poohs about captain s.i.'s past [he bragged about group sex and smoking pot] by focusing on the fact that he gave the interview 26 years ago. she said it twice "26 years ago!" by her logic, if saddam had lasted another 10-15 years, we should just forget that he gassed the iraqi kurds. the simple fact is that speech-impediment is an idiot. but the idiot is married to a long-time friend of ho-prah. speech-impediment claims that a) he doesnt remember what he has said in his interviews because he has given thousands of them and b) he was trying to create controversy to raise the profile of bodybuilding. apparently, the general public has a higher opinion of something when gang-bangs are involved.

a couple of sidenotes of interest ... to me, anyway ... the WUSA folded today $16 million in debt. to those not in the know, this was the women's professional soccer league in the US. i love soccer, and to those who know me, that is a huge understatement. after 3 years, they couldnt come up with any more funding or sponsors. considering that the US is spending $1bn+ per week in iraq, i wish a few pennies of that could have found it's way to help young women develop an interest in soccer, and consider it a viable career option. and don't say the government shouldn't be interfering in such matters. in that case, the government shouldn't be bailing out airlines that are mismanaged into debt either. i'm just happy that mia hamm got a founder's cup medal, and that i had the pleasure of watching abby wambach and siri mullinix for at least one season. the women's world cup starts this coming weekend, and i hope to catch at least one game on network television before it's done. it's in the US, and given the state of the domestic women's game, this might be the last time the US hold on to the trophy for a while.

also, i'm an asshole. i readily admit this. i caught the opening montage of dr. phil and his 'ultimate weight-loss challenge' and it featured a severely obese woman on a bicycle lamenting the fact that she was so obese, her bike tires blew out when she got on. i guess the purpose was to elicit my sympathy ... instead, i laughed my ass off. i'm sorry, but if it takes tires blowing out for you to realize you need to do something about your burgeoning weight and girth, then obesity is the least of your problems. i'd first find something to tighten that screw in your head ... before the remaining 5% of your brain leaks out.

 
read a great op-ed piece at msnbc.com on george w.'s request for an additional $87 billion for iraq and afghanistan. even if you consider that $21 bn is going directly towards reconstruction, it's interesting to see exactly what the total defence budget of $466 bn is being spent on. it's really not surprising ... at least, not to a cynic like myself since peace is not economically feasible. boo! hiss!! i know, not words people like to hear, but i believe it's the truth.

let's start with some basic assumptions:
1. human beings are lazy -- they usually take the path of least resistance.
2. human beings are selfish -- on average, they won't do something unless they profit from it.
3. human beings are easily bored -- you've quit reading by now, so it doesn't matter what i type. perhaps i'll expand on this some other day.

johnny cash passed on last night. i only listened to his music after he sang with U2 on their album, Zooropa. but a definite gem of a human being with a unique style. if nothing else, he actually played an instrument and didn't need backup dancers. and his version of reznor's 'hurt' -- i was speechless when i first heard it.